Finding Christmas

This is one of those posts where the point really doesn't come til the end lol, and part of this is not really something I normally speak on, but after seeing a few things take place I suppose I feel the need. But first lets take it back to last week.
Most people know that all of the females in my family are pretty much Christmas nuts. We get it from our mom but we truly do live for Christmas time. It is a fabulous time though isn't it?  As I was doing some shopping and trying to get everyone's gifts purchased I started to feel a bit overwhelmed. I just moved, just did a birthday for Paris, and now here it was, time to spend MORE money on more gifts. As days went by I began to feel more stressed and down, almost to the point that I just didn't even want Christmas to exist. Growing up I will admit that my siblings and I were somewhat spoiled, and definitely at Christmas. Both my parents always went above and beyond to make it special for us and make sure we got what we wanted from "Santa." This I'm sure is part of the reason we love it so much.. no, not because of the gifts, but because it was always a big deal. I guess in a way I feel the need to do the same for Paris. That's a big task. Last weekend I was feeling out of the Christmas spirit and overall just upset. I decided I needed to do something to get back in to the spirit. I was going to go to the parade of lights, got off work too late. Was going to go to the Golden Christmas parade, didn't work out. Finally I got online and saw that Georgetown does a Christmas market with carolers, Santa, crafts, treats, etc. And really it's free unless you decide to buy something. I put Paris in a Christmas sweater, and put on a sweater myself and to Georgetown we went.

 Now I know I always talk about how much of a city girl I am... but this city girl LOVES the mountains. So that in itself was enough to lift my spirits.

On our drive we had no cd player or auxiliary cord and once we got to a certain point we lost all radio signals. Paris kept asking me to sing different songs. She loves Christmas music so we spent the drive singing frosty the snowman, jingle bells, santa clause is coming to town, and little drummer boy. I cant lie, this was one of my favorite parts of this outing, especially because she knows a lot of the words and sang along. We got to Georgetown and Paris' first thing she said was "It's perfect." She was right, it was. While there we walked through the Christmas market, went on a sleigh ride through town, had lunch in a little café, made Grandma a Christmas ornament, and listened to the children's choir sing Christmas carols.

It was almost exactly what I needed...
After a few hours at the Christmas market we decided to head back home. Of course in the car Paris wanted to sing again, but this time I knew she was tired and wanted her to go to sleep, so instead of singing frosty the snowman I decided to go with silent night. Now before I continue let me say this... I'm a horrible singer, so I hope you all aren't imagining some beautiful song, cause that's far from the case lol, but Paris enjoys it so that's all that matters right? Anyway... as I was singing silent night to her I listened to my own words and at that moment it dawned on me... Up until that point I hadn't thought about the TRUE meaning of Christmas, not one time. I was so concerned with the gifts I needed to buy, the decorations I needed to put up, and all the things I needed to get done, that I had completely skipped over the most important part. Not only that, but I had been so focused on getting Paris excited about the lights, and Santa, and presents, but I hadn't even attempted to tell her the real story... And there it was... My feeling of disappointment and stress was gone, and my Christmas spirit was back. At that point my focus changed a little. Yes of course I still want Paris to have fun and enjoy Christmas all around, but I realized I didn't need to make the commercial and material things the most important aspect. Not only did I want to focus more on the true meaning, but just the experience as a whole. After all, when I look back I remember my holiday experiences far more than I remember what gifts I got...
A few days later my sister and I had a conversation about Christmas and how it makes us so excited and happy, but then we talked about people who aren't as fortunate and how for them it probably does just the opposite. For some, Christmas is a more difficult time of year than any other time. Some people feel more sorrow and pain than excitement and joy. After having this conversation with her I once again was in deep thought on my drive home. It dawned on me again... the true meaning of Christmas. I think that focusing on this bridges the gap between the fortunate and less fortunate. No matter who you have in your life, or how much you have in your life... that topic alone can bring anyone peace.
Finally, last night I took Paris all around downtown to see the lights everywhere. She loved it! We ended our trip at my favorite, the Denver civic center.  As we were standing there taking pictures, two women next to us were talking. One of them said to the other, "I'm so glad that the sign says MERRY CHRISTMAS instead of Happy Hollidays. I mean that is what it's about. Merry Christmas right?" I looked at her and said "I agree." Then, when we walked up closer I noticed something I hadn't before. On one side there was a display of Santa and his elves, and then on the other there was a display of the nativity. I found it interesting (in a good way) only because Denver is a very liberal city, and we live in a world where it's almost looked down upon to display such things, or to even use the name God. I showed it to Paris, and explained it to her. She probably didn't understand but it made me happy to show her.

 

 

I was disappointed tonight to read that there were protesters and picketers in front of the building tonight complaining that the nativity was the government forcing Christianity on the city. I understand everyone is entitled to their beliefs and has a right to freedom of speech... but isn't a display also using freedom of speech. Is the nativity any more wrong that the protestor? I guess I'm just bothered lately by the fact that it seems everything has to be a protest, or a riot, or a debate of some sort. But anyway, that's beside the point...

The point is... I hope EVERYONE, no matter who you are, where you are, what you're going through can remember the real reason for Christmas and that we all can find joy in that alone. Like I said in the beginning... Christmas really is a fabulous time, especially when you focus on the right part. I hope everyone truly has a blessed Holiday season :)

 

Love, Anna and Paris

 



Snowvember

It seems so much has happened and changed since my last post that I don't even know where to start.  I suppose I'll begin where I always do and that's with Paris.

She's two now!! Still so crazy to me.

 

She talks so much it shocks me every day how smart she is. She tells me what she wants to wear, what she wants to eat, where she wants to go, and what she wants to do. Still obsessed with Minnie mouse, loves hair bows, dresses, football, dancing, running, movies, Christmas, animals, and choo choo's (trains). I love to just sit and watch her sometimes. She has started to develop her imagination. It's fun to watch her pretend her stuffed animals are alive. She likes to put them in the crib, tell them night night and close the door.  She gets so excited over the smallest things and I love that. In a way it helps me to enjoy the little things in life too. She's surprisingly super polite. She says thank you, you're welcome, I'm sorry, bless you, excuse me, etc. It makes me proud :) She's quite the character and is so full of life and energy. There is literally not one single day I don't crack up because of her. Yes she is also developing her attitude and it shows. She's learning the meaning of time out quickly but I'm lucky to have an overall really good girl that listens for the most part. Most of all she is miss independent. Loves to do everything on her own. Its kind of scary as a mom but it's also fun to watch her try to do things and then feel so accomplished and excited when she does.

 

 

 

The night before her birthday I spent a great amount of time just watching her. I'm so intrigued by her innocence. What would it be like to be so childlike? To have no fear, no knowledge of all the evil things in the world, and have the smallest, simplest things be everything to you. I actually got sad that night because I know one day that innocence will be gone. I know one day someone or something will hurt her. She will go through hard times and trials. She will not always see things the way she does now. It made me reflect on my own life. I fear for her to go through some of the things I have. But I know she will... we all have our own rocky times. I guess it just makes me want to make sure that she really is able to be just a child. Not grow up too fast, and hopefully I can be who she needs to teach her what she needs to not have too many of those hard times.

 

Her actual birthday was a lot of fun and I really think she enjoyed it. Because she is so in love with trains lately I took her on her first "train" ride... the light rail. We took it into downtown to meet my family for Dinner at the spaghetti factory. She LOVED it! The whole ride she just kept saying "whoa, this is fun!" Dinner was fun too. That's where I always wanted to go when I was a kid for my birthday so it was fun to take her there for hers.

 

 

 

 

 

Then we came back to our house for presents and Cake. She got a lot of great gifts from everyone.

She got a sled with snow pants, Minnie mouse beanie and gloves

 

 

Her first pet. Her fishy

 

 

A Manning Jersey

 

 

 

Blocks (her favorite) and new clothes/shoes.

She is one spoiled an lucky girl. It made me happy to see he smiling all night though, and needless to say she had a lot of fun.

 

 

 

 

We also recently had Halloween which she also loved. Of course she was Minnie mouse but it was extra cute because my nephew was Mickey so they were adorable together. Paris would run up to the next place and say "trick or treat" and "thank you" At night she did get a little scared of some people's porches lol but she had fun none the less.

 

 

We also enjoyed all of the Halloween activities like the pumpkin patch and pumpkin carving.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Overall the fall has been good to us. Most people know the fall is my favorite. I love everything it brings, including cooler weather. Until this last week it has actually been quite warm. Its still crazy to me how beautiful autumn is though. It's seriously gorgeous in Colorado. This is one of the main reasons I love it so much... pictures don't even do it justice

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Annnnd... my favorite yet, IT SNOWED!!! Something I always missed living in the desert. We actually got a good amount for a first week of snow :)

 

 

 

Honestly though no matter what time of year Colorado itself is just beautiful. I'm actually so grateful I left the state for awhile so I can truly appreciate this part of living here. Its like you don't know what you have til its gone and that's so true in this case. Its something you take for granted if you don't experience something else.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ok ok I'll stop with my Colorado obsession but just know I truly do love it here.

As for me I'm still working at the same place and actually like it even more now than when I started. It's not an easy job to say the least, but I have really learned a lot. It always is nice to feel you're growing in anything, and with this job I feel that way. I like it. I finally got my place downtown and LOVE IT. It's so nice to not have to take I-25 and only have to drive 5-10min to work each day. As much as I love my family, it is nice to have space that is my own. It's been fun furnishing it and decorating, but it's still a work in progress. I love being so close to the city. At this point in my life I'm meant to be in the city. I love everything about it. It's only a 15min walk to the stadium ;) and My view from my bedroom window and balcony isn't bad either ;)

 

 

 

Being here hasn't gone exactly how I pictured it, but what in life does? I cant say its gone worse though. I feel I've grown a lot personally. I have a much different outlook on life these days and I don't seen the world as such as cold place compared to what I used to feel. It's funny because multiple people from all different places and ways of knowing me have told me that I "look different." They say that its obvious I'm happier these days. Part of me wonders how miserable I used to look haha ;) but it makes me glad that people notice because I am truly much happier. Don't get me wrong I've always been "happy" but this is a different happiness I guess. I finally feel that things are real. In Vegas it's so easy to get caught up in money, flashy things, who has what, etc. And honestly that can happen anywhere, not just there, but it has been so refreshing to be reminded that none of that really matters at all. I still hate change. Not something I've overcome. I even had a really hard time moving from my temporary home at my parents to 20 minutes away, simply because it was a change. I really fear it for some reason. But I've also learned that nothing good comes from a comfort zone and that stepping out of can be a fantastic thing. It really has been for me. Hopefully I will one day stop fearing change and just be able to leap in new directions, but for now I'm slowly working on it.

 

 

Of course I've enjoyed being where my team is ;) Its been so fun to be able to go to the all of the home games. I always find myself looking forward to Sundays. It's almost become a sickness haha. I've loved the experiences though. (Hopefully things start going better that recent weeks am I right? lol)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Outside of games I don't go out a whole lot but I am able to get out with friends from time to time. It's been fun to reconnect with old friends, and interesting to see how after so many years those relationships don't really change. I guess that's when you know you have some real friends which is always nice.

 

 

 

I think the most important thing I've learned in the past few months is to slow down. My friend in Vegas used to always tell me I was crazy because I could never just sit down and relax. I always had to prepare for something, get something done, was always thinking of what comes next. I'm happy to say I'm not as much that way anymore. Sometimes it still comes out but I've improved. Rather that looking to the weekend I try to enjoy the week. Rather than look to the fall or the winter or the spring I try to enjoy the season I'm in. Rather than look forward to the night I try to enjoy the day etc. I've learned that if I cant get something done right now, it's ok, it doesn't need to be done right away. Things don't have to be perfect right here right now. Things need to just be. It's the journey not the destination anyway right? I would hate to feel I missed out on things because I was so concerned about what is coming next. Time flies and every day is important. I'm glad that this is something I've come to realize. I feel I live life more fully.

I also have a greater appreciation for my family. I have a really cool family actually. My sisters are truly my best friends. I spend the most time with them and I love it. Although my brother lives elsewhere we seem to talk a lot more lately. It's usually about football but I love that. It's great to me that we share that and have that interest in common. I spend every Sunday away game watching games with my dad. Something I never really did before lately. It's fun. He's also one of Paris' favorite people. She knows she can get what she wants with him of course haha. And my mom is an amazing woman. Like super woman. She does everything. Sometimes I think she's crazy for the amount of stuff she puts on her plate but some how she always does it all. She's been a huge help to me and I'm grateful for all of them really.

 

 

Overall Paris and I are very happy and very blessed. I know we are headed in the right direction. We are having so much fun and living life as fully as we possibly can. We've had many great experiences in such a short time, and I know we have so many more to come. I am grateful for the most perfect daughter I have to share life with. Crazy it's only been a couple years and I cannot imagine life without her. Weird how such an event can make life so much more difficult and yet 1000 times better at the same time. :)

We hope our friends and family are equally as happy. Until next time... Go Broncos!